If you rearrange the letters in "Dave Gardner," you can spell "ravaged nerd." Meanwhile, "Shinya Aoki," plus added punctuation, provides us with the illuminating anagram, "Kayo? Sin, hai!" which divines a stealthy tapout for the "Tobikan Judan."
I'm in no position to tell Aoki what to do with his fight purse. However, with the move back up to welterweight, he has some room to binge, so I feel compelled to point out that "first-round sub" rearranged is "burritos funds."
Tatsuya Kawajiri vs. Ross Ebanez
Further proof that statistics can be either illuminating or idiotic: Tatsuya Kawajiri lasted 7:35 in his bout with Eddie Alvarez, while Ross Ebanez stuck around for 7:32. Numbers like that could make you believe that some sort of parity existed here. Of course, those numbers would be lying bastards.
In the spectrum of pointless bouts, Kawajiri-Ebanez is among the worst kind of uselessness. It isn't particularly competitive, but it isn't so horribly mismatched that it is morbidly comic or novel. Rather, it's just a good fighter against a great fighter, and, proving that words can be just as deceptive as numbers, that's not a particularly delicious recipe in this case, unfortunately.
The bout's one redeeming aspect should offer at least some decent entertainment, as both will be more than willing to trade punches. Kawajiri has worked diligently on his technical striking, and it showed its rewards on New Year's Eve when he assailed shopworn muay Thai king Kozo Takeda. Against the tough-but-untamed Ebanez, the "Crusher" should have the upper hand on the feet en route to a stoppage victory, unless he wants to dust off his circa 2004 style and speed things up with ground-and-pound.
Mitsuhiro Ishida vs. Daisuke Nakamura
Of all the evening's superfights, here is the supernova, a legitimately exquisite lightweight bout that while not a do-or-die fight in the strictest of terms, has considerable stakes for its combatants.
After the biggest win of his career over Gilbert Melendez on New Year's Eve 2007, Mitsuhiro Ishida had seemed to finally arrive in the consciousness of MMA fans as one of the sport's top lightweights. However, that was quickly nixed five months later, when he was upset by wily vet Caol Uno, who was able to choke out Ishida, who had made his career in part out of dazzling submission escapes. While his September Strikeforce bout, where he put a highlight-reel armbar on Justin Wilcox, resuscitated his stature somewhat, Ishida has remained somewhat of an afterthought with the recent fervor over Shinya Aoki, the rise of Eddie Alvarez, the rapidly intensifying UFC 155-pound class and the unsung heroes of Sengoku's lightweight division finally getting to shine.
Daisuke Nakamura hasn't got his chance to shine yet. He's been beaten just once in the last three years, and only by the outstanding Vitor "Shaolin" Ribeiro, who was only able to dislocate Nakamura's elbow rather than make him tap. That three-year run includes 11 victories, including seven victories in '08 alone. To further the statistical angle, his last four bouts include two flying armbars. Nakamura has in all ways matured into a rock solid lightweight, who if not an elite fighter, may be one of the most thoroughly enjoyable fighters to watch in perhaps MMA's most thoroughly enjoyable-to-watch division.
This delicious bit of matchmaking will ultimately hinge on Nakamura's offense versus Ishida's defense. Ishida, while he's improved his stand-up, typically just uses his punches to segue into his dynamite single- and double-leg takedowns. Though Nakamura is still at his best on the mat, he holds the striking advantage in technique and certainly power. If he can't keep the bout standing, which is entirely unlikely given the speed and fairly impregnable wrestling of Ishida, he'll have to be at his most slick and dynamic on the ground. As mentioned, despite the Uno submission, Ishida has a highlight reel within his highlight reel of sensational submission escapes, such as his armbar evasions against Kenichiro Togashi and Cristiano Marcello. His high work rate in top position exposes him against fleet sub grapplers, which will be the fundamental fulcrum of the fight.
The safe bet is an Ishida decision in a high-paced and entertaining display of scrambling in which Ishida will constantly need to reassert his base against the aggressive grappling of Nakamura. However, if Nakamura is able to lock up a submission and knock off Ishida, don't call it an upset. It would just be the coming-out party for a wildly entertaining and criminally overlooked fighter.