Hawaii Attorney Candidate Appeals to Fight Fans
Jake Rossen Sep 13, 2010
Pandering has been a staple of politics for decades for a simple
reason: it works. Candidates show up for town hall meetings in the
jersey of the regional sports team; candidates burp babies;
candidates make promises that sound good, regardless of their
actual practicality.
Keith Kaneshiro, a lawyer running for another term as Prosecuting Attorney in Honolulu, is making a very unsubtle gesture towards the island’s MMA contingent. His policy for fighting illicit drug use, he says, is analogous to MMA’s multiple disciplines: “Elite MMA fighters combine stand-up fighting skills AND a ground game to succeed in the ring. The Prosecuting Attorney needs to employ a two-pronged attack as well: Punish criminals and work to prevent people from breaking drug laws in the first place.”
Are potential drug addicts thinking of pursuing a career in mixed martial arts? Don’t be stupid. “Athletes understand the need to keep their bodies in top condition,” Kaneshiro writes. “They watch what they eat, train hard and avoid using illegal drugs. MMA fighters understand that you can’t compete effectively in the sport if they’re addicted to crystal meth.” These are wise words.
Kaneshiro is up for election Sept. 18 against presumed sissypants Franklin Pacarro, Jr. and Darwin Ching. I’m going to go out on a limb and predict he will “choke drugs into submission,” and possibly push multiple-time offenders to “tap out.” That you now need to appeal to fight fans in order to sway elections is some kind of progress.
Keith Kaneshiro, a lawyer running for another term as Prosecuting Attorney in Honolulu, is making a very unsubtle gesture towards the island’s MMA contingent. His policy for fighting illicit drug use, he says, is analogous to MMA’s multiple disciplines: “Elite MMA fighters combine stand-up fighting skills AND a ground game to succeed in the ring. The Prosecuting Attorney needs to employ a two-pronged attack as well: Punish criminals and work to prevent people from breaking drug laws in the first place.”
Are potential drug addicts thinking of pursuing a career in mixed martial arts? Don’t be stupid. “Athletes understand the need to keep their bodies in top condition,” Kaneshiro writes. “They watch what they eat, train hard and avoid using illegal drugs. MMA fighters understand that you can’t compete effectively in the sport if they’re addicted to crystal meth.” These are wise words.
Kaneshiro is up for election Sept. 18 against presumed sissypants Franklin Pacarro, Jr. and Darwin Ching. I’m going to go out on a limb and predict he will “choke drugs into submission,” and possibly push multiple-time offenders to “tap out.” That you now need to appeal to fight fans in order to sway elections is some kind of progress.
